Saw this condensed version of Shakespeare's Richard III over at Book-A-Minute Classics. (Check them all out--my favorite was the Virginia Woolf.)
And here's my humble addition for this blog:
The Condensed Ricardian Novel:
Richard: I loved my brother Edward. It's all the Woodvilles' fault that I have to execute his best friend and his relatives, declare his children bastards, and take the throne myself. (Sighs nobly.) But I'm going to do it anyway, for the good of England.
Buckingham: How unselfish of you. Look, gotta run now.
Henry Tudor: England is just too happy with Richard on the throne. I must invade immediately and put an end to all of this nonsense. Uncle Jasper, can we do it cheaply?
Elizabeth of York: I must marry mean Henry, but my heart will always be with Richard. Mother, isn't it time you took a little rest in a nunnery?